Meditations · Uncategorized

When life feels like an old rope bridge.

Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow:for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
–Mathew 5:30-34

Sometimes life feels like a roller coaster– going from 0 to 70 mph in under 60 seconds, driving up and down and everywhere else in between.

And sometimes… sometimes life feels like a rickety old rope bridge.

I got engaged to the love of my life and very best friend Seth towards the end of December. That was the roller coaster. Now, as the rest of our lives approaches, I feel I’m tiptoeing my way across that rope bridge. Doubts try to settle into the crevices of my mind, whispering their questions to my soul.

You’re only college students… how are you going to afford this?
Do you really think God will give you a nice car, just out of the blue?
Where are you going to live? Can you handle all that moving around?
Can you really make it as a missionary? Do you even know what you’re doing?
What if you don’t get the support you need and your deputation fails? Then what? What will become of your life then?
Do you think the honeymoon will last forever? It will end sometime, and then you’ll have to spend all your time and effort trying not to be miserable. What if all you do is fight? What makes you think you can be the exception rather than the rule?

 If I take one wrong step, make one wrong move… what if I fall through the bridge?

God has been patiently dealing in my heart, trying to soothe away my concerns with a gentle command: “Trust me.” What good does it do to worry? Will it change anything? Well, actually yes– it will change this time of joy and adventure into a life of bitterness and fear.

The alternative is to choose trust. There’s a hymn that says “God leads His dear children along.” To lead, you have to be in front of your object. If God leads, then He is before me. He knows where to step, and He knows what’s at the end of the bridge. He knows what I need and what Seth needs; and He is SO good and always faithful. There is never a just reason to doubt Him! The key is to stop thinking about it. Stop looking at the needs and the wants and the fear. “Take no thought.” Instead, seek Him first. Focus forward to the goal, press toward the mark– His kingdom and honor and glory!

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