[continued from the last post]
Compromise doesn’t mean “my way or the highway.” That, I must admit, has been one of the more difficult lessons for me, and I have by no means arrived. When you’re the oldest child, you don’t really compromise much– you’re in charge! When you’re “in charge” of your dorm room (not to mention that the girls you’ve roomed with each year are pretty much perfect roommates) there isn’t a lot of compromising happening (mostly because there’s no need because of the said roommates). But suddenly, I’m in a whole new setting and compromise is the order of the day! It would be easy if I were always right and he was always wrong (which, despite what they tell you, isn’t true; the wife is not always right, sadly…), or if we had the exact same views on the way life should go. But… that isn’t how it is. Often, my way of thinking isn’t wrong and neither is his, and I’ve had to learn to give in or to find a happy medium between the options instead of insisting that my preference is just “how it is.” Really, it boils back down to love, which I talked about in my last post. Love for my husband inspires compromise, but love for myself dictates a headstrong attitude.
Differenences are not bad. I touched on this in the last post too. Seth and I are two very different people trying to live as one. Sometimes the way he does things or thinks about certain things leaves me shaking my head and mumbling, “Why in the world would you even think that’s a good idea? There’s a better way to do that…” What I forget sometimes is that we’re supposed to be a team. Our differences shouldn’t be cause for conflict at all! Rather, our differences are unique assets we each bring to the table so that we can live our life as a complete, functioning unit. Now that we’re married, when either of us acts in self-interest or functions independently, we’re functioning at 50%. I don’t know about you, but if I have an appliance that only works halfway, I pretty much consider it useless. What if only half your fridge or half your microwave, or half your curling iron worked?! You would know that something was wrong and that it needed fixing. So what I’m learning, and suppose I will be learning for a long time, is that the very things that make us unique are not contrasts, but complements. Each difference is what makes us a good fit for each other. Now if only I could remember that more often…
So there you have it. Five different things I’ve learned since I became a wife seven months ago. It’s my prayer that these lessons will be a blessing in your life, whether you’re married, engaged, dating, or single. Thank you for reading!
What are some things you have learned from marriage? I’d love the insight! Comment below.